How To Gain Respect, Respectfully
Do you ever feel like you give, give, and give and the people around you just keep taking?
Are you ever tired of the same cycle of feeling used, taken advantage of, or feeling like you’re getting the shorter end of the stick?
Do you feel others don’t respect you? Or they make you feel uncomfortable and you’re just too shy to say anything or you don’t know how to communicate this to them?
Well ladies, if you answered yes to any of those questions, here’s the solution: Boundaries!
The number one way to get people to respect you is by establishing your boundaries and enforcing them when needed.
Now, what am I talking about? How do you get people to respect you? How do you set boundaries? How do I even start that conversation?
Well, let’s get into it.
Today we’re going to discuss what boundaries are, some examples of boundaries, and why they’re important to establish and reinforce.
What are boundaries?
A boundary is “a line that marks the limit of an area; a dividing line”.
That line is your safe haven. That line keeps you from over exhausting yourself from the intentional or unintentional draining ways of others. This line allows you to create space for experiences that will feed your joy instead of take away from it.
You have to always think about where you draw the line.
In other words, boundaries clearly define what is a “yes” and what is a “no”. This is very important to establish with yourself so you’re able to communicate this to others.
Everyone has a different sense of what is okay and what isn’t, and the people who respect your boundaries are the only people you should allow in your life.
Not saying it’s required to cut those people off who do not respect your boundaries, however, it would be beneficial to you if you distanced yourself.
So why are boundaries so important?
1. Boundaries Create A Safe Space For You
Having boundaries allows you to feel more comfortable with yourself and others because you’ve established what you’re open to experiencing and what you’re not. This sets the tone of these relationships.
2. Boundaries Encourages Others To Respect You
When others notice you have boundaries they see you value yourself. When you reinforce them, they see you have certain standards you will uphold them to and they have to respect you.
People notice what you allow and they will try to make you settle for a life that you’re not okay with if you don’t communicate and reinforce your boundaries.
What happens when you don’t reinforce them?
When you let others overstep or disrespect you, not only are you hurting yourself but you’re not giving them the opportunity to become better. Essentially you’re giving them permission to stay the same.
This negatively affects you because you’re pouring into and maintaining a situation that makes you uncomfortable or hurts you.
How do you establish what your boundaries are?
Well the first step would be to understand what situations make you feel uncomfortable, used, or over exhausted.
Next, it’s time to figure out what part of that situation made you uncomfortable and if there is a solution to this problem.
If there is a solution it’s time to communicate the offense and the solution to the other party involved.
How do you enforce your boundaries?
There is a way to effectively communicate your boundaries when they’ve been overstepped.
First, make sure to assertively voice what that person did and how it made you feel. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Think of yourself as your best friend. Stand up for your best friend always!
This should be done tactfully to get the best results so don’t accuse them of any actions besides what was actually done.
For example, if someone is always asking you for money and it makes you feel used, state just that! Not what they may or may not be spending the money on or other irrelevant things that can change the subject at hand.
When you speak on what was actually done to you then how it made you feel these are statements that cannot be denied or invalidated.
Always clearly explain these two key points to get respect.
So all in all, discovering and setting your boundaries will not only help you live peacefully amongst others but you will be respected too.
Confidently set your boundaries. Those who respect you will not go over those parameters. If someone does then it shows that they don’t have you best interest at heart and you should distance yourself from them. If someone can’t respect your boundaries it reflects how they are as a person. It reflects how they don’t respect themselves enough to reciprocate respect towards others. So don’t take it personal, just distance yourself.
I’m signing off!
As always, I love you and God loves you.
Ovy
