8 Signs You’re In An Unequally Yoked Relationship
Hey ladies! Today we’re going to be talking about such an important topic: unequally yoked relationships. So many women may have experienced this, could be experiencing this presently, or are in the dating scene and want to avoid this type of relationship.
If you’re currently dating and trying to avoid this or just want more clarity on if you’ve experienced it or are experiencing it now, then you’ve come to the right place to get your answers! Today we’re talking about what unequally yoked relationships are, some signs that you’re in one and what you should do if you’re already in a committed relationship with someone you’re unequally yoked to.
If you’re a woman seeking to have a godly relationship that’ll get you decades of a peaceful marriage then one of the most important things to consider when creating relationships would be if your potential partner values God to the same extent or more than you do. This is a very important thing to consider! Why? Well let’s talk about it.
So firstly, what’s an unequally yoked relationship?
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term here’s a definitive way to explain this concept.
An unequally yoked relationship is a partnership between individuals who are of two different faiths or are of different spectrums in their faith.
That’s it. That’s all there is to it.
Here are some of the top questions women may have about unequally yoked relationships and I’m going to answer all of them. So let’s begin!
- Are they possible to maintain ?
- What does the Bible say about unequally yoked relationships?
- What do you do if you’re already in an unequally yoked marriage?
- How do you know if you’re in an unequally yoked relationship?
- What are some signs you’re in an unequally yoked relationship?
So to answer the first question: Are they possible to maintain?
Yes, an unequally yoked relationship is possible to maintain, however, that applies to a couple that is already married.
Other types of relationships do not fit into these standards. Being the girlfriend or friend to someone who don’t value the most important part of your life can become very difficult to maintain. It can feel very unfulfilling and distract you from getting closer to God.
Here’s what the Bible says about unequally yoked relationships:
2 Corinthians 6:14
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
This isn’t a mere suggestion. It’s saying not to do it then gives examples as to why it’s not a good idea. To compare this to something we can relate to, it’s like saying would you get your hair wet after getting it freshly done? No indeed!
In short, taking heed to what the Bible says is very important if you want to get closer to God and be able to share that journey with your significant other. Imagine it like this; think of your most favorite person in the world. Now imagine if someone, a friend, or your partner does not value this person. Imagine them neglecting, disrespecting, and ignoring that person. You’d absolutely hate that, right? That’s what unequally yoked relationships are like.
Unequally yoked marriages are different, however. If you’re already married this does not mean you have to immediately drop the ball on your significant other that you’re out of there!
Oh no my friend, you’re stuck like Chuck. All jokes aside, there is a way to maintain this union. Here’s what the Bible says about married couples who are unequally yoked.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:12
“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband”
Basically what’s being said is your spouse is now made new once married because they are committed to a covenant between you and God. Once you’re married, you are now seen as one in God’s eyes. Also, they are now one step closer to being a believer for themselves because the person they are committing their lives to will be implementing godly principles daily which they will most likely imitate. This definitely pleases God so in this instance, it can work.
If you’re not married then it’s best to avoid partners who don’t value what you value. That’s just a simple principle of life. As a woman who’s interested in getting closer to God, you’d definitely want a man who has that same desire. A man that lives out his everyday life trying to learn more about God and embody godly principles like kindness, patience, selflessness, and obedience would be the best choice.
How do you know if you’re in an unequally yoked relationship?
It’ll be evident by how they show up for you and how they show up for God. It’s evident by the fruit they produce. Let’s talk about that more.
So the evidence of being close to God will show up in their character. Some examples of someone being close to God would be them showing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. A relationship where both individuals practice these fruits of the spirit are considered equally yoked. If one person lives out these characteristics while the other lacks these consistently, then this is considered an unequally yoked relationship. Of course no one is perfect however it will be evident that they are consistently not practicing these principles. Being with a man who’s not on a spiritual journey to get closer to God like you are will cause you both to be out of sync with a lot of everyday things.
Here are some signs that your relationship may be unequally yoked:
- You may listen to different music
By different music I do not mean your partner just likes a different genre. I mean their music promotes violence, disrespect, and unrighteousness. They rarely or never choose music that uplifts God.
- You may not agree on the same things to watch
There’s certain movies and tv shows you’re not comfortable watching anymore because you’re trying to focus on your relationship with God and exposing yourself to graphic scenes will not benefit you, however, your partner may not understand this.
- You may speak differently in terms of tone and profanity usage
A partner who practices the fruit of the spirit will not speak in an absurd, rude, or disrespectful manner.
- You may disagree on how to show up for others (family, friends, strangers, children, etc)
You are way more enlightened on how God wants you to treat others and you want to show up how He tell you to (Be more kind, loving, generous, forgiving etc) but they may not. The things you may want your children to grow up on like learning the word of God and uplifting Him by what they consume may be things you instill in your children’s upbringing but it’s not a priority for your partner.
- Constantly Being Misunderstood because your values don’t align
You may experience fatigue trying to explain why you don’t do certain activities and why you want to implement or already implement certain practices in your life
- You want to follow biblical principles, however they don’t
You may want to wait til marriage or stop drinking, smoking, over eating, start speaking life into things or start praying daily etc (whatever God instructs you to do) however, that’s just not important to them.
- You have to compromise your beliefs
You may experience resistance or may not see eye to eye on a lot of the foundational things. You’d have to compromise your beliefs or choose between what God wants you to do and what your significant other wants. God will definitely not approve of a relationship where He’s in competition with someone else for your obedience.
- You feel uncomfortable speaking about spiritual things with them
You can’t rely on them to be there for you spiritually. You may need prayer, someone to speak to about spiritual warfare, or your conversations with God and they may not be able to understand.
Well, there you have it, ladies! Those were the ultimate signs that you may be in an unequally yoked relationship. Of course, there are plenty more ways to tell that may not have been spoken on but these were definitely some of the most prominent. Maybe you could relate to the ones mentioned too. If so then here’s a prayer for you.
I pray that if you’re in a season where you’re with someone that doesn’t value God the way you do then you get the strength to walk away. I pray you’re protected, guided, and above all feel so worthy of a relationship that’s lead by a man who values God. Amen!
If you’re not ready then don’t beat yourself up about it, you will eventually be exactly where you’re meant to be one day. Start praying that you move in that direction and you will.
I love you + God loves you
OVY
Great article! It’s important for women to consider values when STARTING their relationships. That is what my relationship philosophy is all about.
BUT ONCE YOU ARE ALREADY MARRIED, even with the sort of signs you pointed out–which definitely highlight conflicting values but some also just inherent differences between the two sexes that we as women need to try to recognize and understand better–if YOUR values have changed, that does not somehow translate into heavenly permission just to walk away from your marriage.
Oh, no no no. As a true believer and follower of God, this is where YOUR test begins, and it is God’s gift to both you and your husband. For you because here is how you really get to forge your spiritual mettle and truly learn all those fruits of love. For him, because God through YOU has provided your husband with his best hope to find his way back to God.
This is where you need to see your hubby as that new tall dark stranger because in so many ways now, you are a bit like strangers to each other again. This happens in nearly EVERY longer marriage around 15 to 20 years that one of you made radically change. It is all part of the price and profit of the marriage partnership.
This is where you keep setting the example of your own new values, seeking to understand him better, and above all praying for him to have his own revelation and awakening to God as well. Once you are already married and change, the only reason to end your marriage is because of real physical or sexual abuse (so called emotional and mental abuse doesn’t cut it, just shows you need to work on strengthening boundaries and communication skills and self-esteem or self-respect).
Thank you for sharing this helpful information. I just wanted to drive home an emphasis on not seeing all this as rationale to end marriages too soon. Above all else, the Holy Ones say that we give up on our marriages far too soon. Before you can leave in peace, you need to know that you did EVERYTHING you could to resolve differences or problems or challenges.
XOXO,
Kiddo Elliott
https://sweetdreamsguide.com/